Sitting at a blackjack table inside the Chumash Casino, Alex realized by winning his next hand he could pay for a semester of his son’s tuition. He was up, way up, the perfect time to walk away. But ever since injury ended his career in 2020 he was cursed with the urge to win at all costs. He went all in, doubling down on a seven. The dealer pulled a ten of spades and a five of clubs. Alex went bust.
Continue readingAuthor Archives: Joe Michael
Down a Concrete Ramp
God I hope I don’t get sunburnt this day in fall
I’m too beautiful for any more permanent damage
Backstroke walruses do abound all around me
But underneath my tan chinos there’s a pink surprise all my own
Replacements Fan
What if that one Replacements fan was every Replacements fan ever
And he lived on a farm with a wild turkey and some parents too
He grew a beard to avoid using adverbs
And one time his weirdo teacher said he liked them too
So he made him a mixtape with Tim and Pleased to Meet Me as well
Skidmark Island
My biggest complaint in life right now is that sometimes when I put my contacts on, they pinch in unpredictable ways. This concerns me, not because it really matters, but because everything else is just fine. My mind is losing the scab of real problems. Sometimes I’ll just sit around and stare, working myself into a low-grade buzz as I appreciate the emptiness of my worries.
Fine American Boys – The Jesus Lizard at The Fonda
On the drive down to Hollywood to see one of my favorite bands the other night, a general feeling of menace hung over me. It told me, yur in trouble fella, stay vigilant. Due in part to the impending noise of the show – more likely enforced by the run of my life seven days prior.
six through eleven – jambles on the downside
Unless you have the recall of a Reese’s monkey pre-lobotomy, don’t expect to keep up with the narrative defenestrations – six through eleven. Yep, it’s enough to take the ride down to the concrete but with so many attractions whizzing by – this binge audience just ain’t used to – Baby, how do we remember, let alone keep up?
Technique Uno – Soy fantástico
Part 5 – Choke Me out On Wounded Knee aka Fuck that Acai Berry Shit from the Amazon
If there was ever any doubt – I’ll cop to – about doppelCoop = Bob, at last now we have confirmation that Bob is at least part of the evil lurking inside. Whether this makes any difference concerning the whereabouts of Dougie Luv’s soul vessel, I have no idea.
Parts 3 & 4: MF is a Person 2
Parts 3 and 4 – Everybody blew their load all over Wally Brando before giving the ugly folks a chance to get off. Let’s piss ourselves over how funny it was, agreed, but to then jump on some theoretical bandwagon about how it’s this and that about nostalgia and a replica of an unconventional and historically poo pooed artist both fooling and appeasing his benefactors idealized projections – is just a bunch of horseshit. It was just funny. Period. You know how when somebody explains why a joke is funny and in so doing sucks all the life out of it. It’s kinda like that. To continue, it was a huge risk and huge payoff, but why wouldn’t they think they could pull off a left – of left field – move – in a world of time bending revolutions? I think the big surprise is how gleefully surprised we were. It’s like, can’t the sad man get some too?
Twin Peaks: 2017
Twin Peaks. The return. Camera Obscura. Twin Strangers. West Side Story. Ok go.
Waiting for the show to begin I marveled at my defensive strategy. Should my pre-frontal cortex start jonesing for that sweet haptic feedback, diverting my attention for even a second, I lavishly laid out before me my weapons of mass absorption. Six hot pieces of original recipe KFC, three homemade aluminum free biscuits, one bowl of packet boiled gravy, and two cans of Diet Coke. Now sparkle in a pint glass with ice cubes. Call it a day and sparkle god damn it.
King Hell Highway 